Merry Christmas!
December 25, 2008
It’s Christmas! So many things have happened in the past month. The S9 is finally out, and it’s as much a reviewer’s delight as any non-iPod player could be. Its sound and video quality are both awesome (Cowon is known for sound quality, and the AMOLED does videos superbly), but it’s UI is still rough around the edges despite the capacitive touch screen. One can’t possibly review it without evoking the iPod Touch, and quite frankly, nobody’s going to be able to come out with a new product that will be immediately comparable with the mature iPod Touch line. I await firmware revisions to fix the existing bugs, and maybe even to add more functionality. That having been said, I’m quite psyched about getting one myself. If only it wasn’t Christmas and I actually had the money to spare at the moment instead of spending it on presents…
On the same train of thought, I’m slightly disappointed at the lack of sales for the Panasonic LX3. I decided that while I’m waiting for Red to whip their Scarlet line into shape, I’d buy myself a nice point-and-shoot. I decided against the Casio EX-F1 because of the poor image quality and auto-focus. I’m not sure if subsequent firmware revisions have corrected the auto-focus issue, but I’ve moved on. The LX3 is comparable to the F40 in terms of low-light performance, but like the G9 in terms of features. The only thing lacking is that it has a max zoom range of 60mm, though it does have a wide-angle of 24mm. But since most pictures are taken at 50mm anyway, it doesn’t matter that much.
It seems a lot of other stuff have been discounted though, and I’ve taken full advantage of that. All this buying certainly accounts for my current lack of cash, though my lack of wealth in general can be fairly attributed to the recession in progress. But anyway, I picked up the UCS Millennium Falcon for less than $350 total, which to me, is a steal. In fact, I have the thing in a box, unopened, still sitting in the doorway where I left it when I picked up the package. I also picked up the Skeleton Ship Attack from a collector’s shop for a little more than MSRP. I now have a troll vs. skeleton vs. agents thing going on. As soon as I pick up the new pirate ship, it’ll be an all-out 4-way naval battle. I have the fireboat (that really floats) too, but I’m not sure I should include it yet. And yes, this entire paragraph was entirely about Lego.
On a more somber note, things are going to be bad for retailers this year. Yes, entertainment is probably at its peak. But it will be at the cost of big-ticket items such as TV’s. With the recession happening, the idea is to buy smaller gifts. And where gifts in the past averaged several hundred dollars, they’re now more likely to be in the twenty to fifty dollar range. The truth is, the economic meltdown is not going away anytime soon. In fact, it’s only going to get worse. I’m seeing a minimum of two years before signs of rebounding even begin appearing, possibly another year or two before things actually get better. 2009 is going to be a bad year all around, and I know both companies and individuals are hording cash to brace for its impact.
On a lighter note, here’s a Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/whatever present: a more advanced beginner’s tip.
True power can only be attained when the body is relaxed. That is not to say that any part should be soft and flabby. Instead, it means to be ready. To be holding power is to be tight. For example, clench hard, and your arms start shaking. This is a bad thing in practice. Power needs to be projected from the body in bursts. And in order to do so, the part of the body that the power travels through must be relaxed. The entire chain, from generation to projection, must not be tight. But power is useless if it isn’t focused. So if the power is coming from the ground, it is equally important to be able to have the legs focus the power travelling up. This basically means that even though the legs are relaxed, they do not move. This focus must extend to the part of the body that’s acting, so that the energy has a purpose and isn’t merely thrown out of the body like an old rag.
One must acquire strength in order to do this well. By well, I mean naturally. That is, after all, the goal of training. Anyone can copy motions if they go slow enough. But to be able to have the techniques come out as needed is a different story and requires significant training. And foremost is to have the muscles to be able to pull off the technique and do it well. But this isn’t the same strength as from weight lifting. The strength developed from weight lifting is dead strength. In order for raw, brute strength to become power, it needs to be alive. This means working muscle groups together in the same way as a technique, but with resistance. Such a training regiment doesn’t just improve muscle memory, it also links the muscles together, and strengthens that link so that the burst of power becomes a natural movement. Thus, you can say that this training is to accelerate the process of turning an unnatural movement into a very natural movement that would otherwise have to be acquired through years of repetition.
For example, one method of training the grip is to constantly lift heavy and cumbersome items from the top (as opposed to from the bottom). But because every style focuses on a different type of power from a different part of the body, I leave it as an exercise for the reader to develop the most appropriate exercise. The only requirement for the exercise is that its motions are the same as that of the techniques that need to be developed.
Then, when a technique has become natural to the point where you can put power into executing the technique but still remain relaxed, that is the the body has physically mastered the technique. The mental aspect is completely different, and something I will save for a subsequent post.
Range
November 10, 2008
Beginner’s tip: know your distances. There is a range for kicking, a range for striking, and a range for grappling. There’s no set measure for ranges. It depends on the individual style and the focus of that style. Know your distances. Your style, your body type, your mentality all contribute to what your distances are. Distance determines what to do–whether to bridge, to step in, or to retreat–and how to do it. It’s a good idea to know all aspects of a fight, from the footwork to the ground work, but not all styles are complete in this manner. One can either choose to pick up a complementary style, or work around the lackings. The latter path means constant repositioning is necessary in a fight in order to maintain the ideal range. It goes without saying that a strong understanding of distances is paramount to doing this well. After all, if someone can do in one move what you need two to do, you’ve put yourself at a significant disadvantage.
I might be training a little too hard recently. Old injures are starting to flare up again. The silver lining is that the pain is in the right places this time. Last time, I had pain in completely unrelated places, which meant I really, really screwed something up, to the point where parts of my body that shouldn’t be in pain were. But parts of by body are still screaming, and that’s never a pleasant feeling, whether the body part has a right to do so or not.
On top of that, I’m going to be stuck with Pug and Poodle for a week. So long as they don’t force me into action, I think I will survive. I’ve got my fingers crossed.
The good news is, I’m looking forward to Black Friday this year. There probably won’t too many good deals, but I’m hoping I’ll be able to pick up a big Lego set from Target. They typically have one or two big sets on sale every Black Friday, and I’m hoping one of these will be from the 2009 Pirate line. I’m also looking to pick up a camera. I know Red is announcing their DSLR killer, but I need a decent point-and-shoot. I’m still hoping Red’s new thing (or one of their new things) will be a good, small camcorder. But Red is good at camcorders. I’m looking for something I can stick into my pocket.
To that effect, I’ve picked out the Panasonic LX3. It is no Fuji F31 in terms of low-light sensitivity, but it does have 24mm at F2.0 and raw output, which means it might not need ISO800 in the same situations the F31 does. Its ISO800 compares well to the F31’s ISO1600, so I think it’s comparable. And it does 720p24 movies. I’m not sure how useful the movie feature will be if I get a Red camcorder, but at least if Red’s new thing isn’t to my liking, I can stick with the LX3. The only bad thing is that it’s zoom is to 60mm, which is paltry compared to 140mm or 175mm of other P&S cameras, but I suppose I can’t have my cake and eat it too. At least it’s not a lie.
So despite recent economic woes, I’m looking to spend a shitload of money in the next 3 months. I’m getting depressed just thinking about it.
Still alive.
October 11, 2007
Yup, I’m still alive. I have a few long entries in draft form. Articles, I would prefer to call them, but they’re entries nonetheless. Not that anyone really reads this. Ergo, no one cares at the moment, but I still should account for my absence, if only for posterity…
I’ve been busy. Working. Sleeping. Taking up new hobbies and learning new crafts. I’m going to learn how to carve wood. That way, I can create a wooden model of the sword hilt that I’m designing. From there, I’ll send it over to China where I can get it made for cheap, and made well at that. And then, we’ll see where that goes.
Things have gotten interesting since my last entry. Poodle disappeared for most of the summer. And things seem to have changed after their little vacation. I’m not sure what it is, and I’m not sure I like it, but what the hey, it’s none of my business anymore.
Anyway, the interesting part comes from the few new students at the PKFS, as well as increased recognition for the SKFS. It seems a prominent name in the kung fu world wants to meet Sigung. Which can be a double-edged sword. I hope to be there when they meet. I hope things will turn out well, but there’s always that chance…
As for the two new students, I sometimes wonder if I actually was like them in the beginning. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t. I already had the foundations when I began learning; the concepts of chi and ging were things I had “discovered” on my own when I was much younger. It comes from having a natural inclination, a genetic desposition for athletics. And, it came from not having brute strength. These new students have showed me exactly how much work it is to train someone from scratch, and exactly how far I’ve come since I began. Senior has props from me for building up my foundation well. At the same time, it’s quite frustrating when they simply don’t get something that’s so natural to me. That, and when they don’t remember… I must’ve said this several times already, since we’ve had a steady flow of new students in PKFS over the past two years. This’ll be the last time, until they get to where I am now, and I can say, ha, it only took me half that time…
I’ve improved over the summer. Slightly. I think. I recently took a break from everything. And the first day I was back, I could feel a little of the power that I had before my injury. And then, it was gone. It’s depressing. But at the same time, it means that if I work at it, I can get it back, permanently.
These days, the hottest tech item is the iBrick. I think this will be a kink in Apple’s road to success. They’re trying to be the control freaks that they’ve always been. It didn’t work with Macs. It’s not going to work with the iPhone. The iPod is not an exception. In actuality, it is the one thing that Apple didn’t lock in. The iPod supports mp3’s. If it only supported AAC, no one would’ve bought one, regardless of how “cool” it might’ve seem to have one. In order for the iPhone to reach the levels of success the iPod has, Apple needs to open it up, development-wise. Or it just won’t compete well in the marketspace Apple is targetting, i.e. mid-range, almost-smart-phone, all-in-one.
Now, the iPod Touch is real interesting. But until they slap a real HDD onto it, and maybe allow 3rd party games, it’s not worth so much as a penny in my book.
Looks like Guiliani is going to have a little trouble getting the presidency if he wins the primaries, which I’m forecasting he will win. The neocons don’t like his pro-choice stance, and they’re the ones who carried Bush in ‘00 and ‘04. It’s going to be a Democrat president, likely Hillary, but not necessarily. It very well could go to Obama or even Edwards. I’ve got this fantasy that the neocons are finally going to split from the Republican party that they’ve dragged down. If that happens, Democrats aren’t going to rule for long though, as the radical left elements are going to leave a bitter aftertaste in the center’s mouths, and we might even see a split of the Cali-left from the Democrats there. That might be for the best, and we might just finally end the bipartisan system that’s plagued the US government since Washington’s second term ended. Or, the neocons might realize that they won’t have a voice anymore, and somehow come back stronger than ever… Which would spell the utter demise of the US.
Finally, I’m going to point to this really cool Lego set that just came out: a scale model of the Millenium Falcon. It costs $500, and is some 3000 pieces, but it looks awesome. As soon as I have some money, I’ll be picking up one for myself.
AACS Key, DMCA, etc.
May 16, 2007
I think it’s time I weighed in on this whole AACS key debacle. The whole idiocy behind the issue is astounding. And I don’t just mean from the AACS/pro-DMCA camp either. While they are the easier target, being more in the wrong than the idiots moderating Digg or the people posting the key around, the other “sides” also share some of the blame.
Allow me to explain why I think this whole thing is retarded. The key that suddenly shot to levels of infamy that made the DeCSS code issue look trivial–a 128-bit number–is actually one step in the lengthy process of decoding a Blu-Ray and HD-DVD movie (yes, videos on both new formats use the same DRM vendor) from its encoded form into an actual standards-compliant video file. Without the decrypting process, the data on the discs would not result in a video. Unfortunately for everyone, this key–one of several–is unique to batches of discs. Or at least, that was how it should have been. For some stupid reason, every Blu-Ray and HD-DVD disc manufactured before April 23, 2007 used the same key. So in effect, at the time of its discovery, the key cracked both formats, and was advertised as such.
Here’s the problem: by the time the key became popular, it was already being deprecated. So in effect, people were circulating around a key whose use was limited to certain older releases. Which meant anyone considering buying a new player because they can now either watch the movies they downloaded online, or backup their legitmate discs, would more than likely not have that functionality anyway. Only those people who own the players and more importantly, the discs, are affected. And that’s a very small subset of people indeed.
So AACS LA and the MPAA were idiots for sending out take-down notices. After all, the logical thing would be for them to go into damage control, but since the effects are limited already, all they needed to do was cut their losses, wait for the thing to blow over, increase their security measures for their future discs (like using different processing keys in a novel manner), and that would’ve been the end of the story. Instead, they had to send out takedown notices, and get several million net denizens up in arms about the whole thing.
What Digg did was also retarded. Upon receiving the takedown notice, Digg moderators started removing any stories that linked to the key. But they went a step further. Actually, they went several steps further. Digg started quietly deleting the users whom had posted the suddenly heretical stories. As word of this got around, people began noticing a connection between this action, and a recent advertising deal. That was when Digg started deleting the comments and users who even mentioned the deletions. As things grew more and more clear about what was happening, that’s when the users started to revolt. As mentioned many times before by others, had Digg simply removed the relevant stories and posted a notice saying why, the users would have vented their anger on the DMCA backers. As it was, by not simply penalizing users without an explanation, but then penalizing the users who attempted to provide an explanation–by attempting to rewrite history–they hit a nerve, and a very sensitive one at that. The rest, as they say, is history.
The users remain clueless as usual. Most people have no idea what this key is, why it’s used, and why people were up in arms about it. Most people took a look at their neighbors (or news aggregators in this case), saw that posting the key was the “in” thing to do, and jumped on the bandwagon. Worse, the bandwagon was being driven by a bunch of anti-DMCA fanatics whom had jumped at the chance to bash the DMCA without even trying to understand what the revolt was about. Thus, most people saw the issue as if it had been a simple take-down notice. Even Digg’s retraction made it appear that way. Then most people started using the wrong parts of the DMCA to defend their actions. The more intelligent ones pointed to the DRM circumvention clauses instead of the copyright clauses. But that’s not too important, as my point still remains valid for them: the revolt came about because of censorship, not because of the DMCA, even as people railed against the DMCA.
Suddenly, we hear nothing about Digg’s attempt at censorship, at rewriting history, and everything about the evils of the DMCA. Don’t get me wrong; the DMCA is a crappy piece of legislation, its spirit against the freedoms upon which the United States were built, and worded overly broad to boot. But the revolt came about as a result of Digg trying to erase the existence of the key’s presence on the site, as well as silence anyone who knew of this. And that’s far more frightening than copyrights and circumventing protection measures. Next time, there might not be a DMCA to spearhead the rally. Next time, it might be an insignificant issue, like someone’s dog dying, or something more important like a new, cheap breast cancer medicine only because they were being sponsored by a major pharmeceutical whose primary source of revenue was from breast cancer drugs (no, unless it was an outright cure, other sites might not pick it up). Digg’s current attempt failed because internet users tend to be more technologically savvy, and aware of the evils of the DMCA, were easily able to sympathize or even empathize with the people revolting. The DMCA carried this revolt, not the true crime.
And that’s why the people revolting–the people putting the hex number on t-shirts and making a big deal out of it–that’s why they’re all idiots too.
Oh, and just for fun, I wrote this, then attempted to find the “key” in what I wrote. The bolded letters represent the key. The translation I leave to the reader. Anyone trying to figure out what the bolded letters translate into however, would be considered employing circumvention measures, and hence would be commiting a crime under the Digital Millenium Copyright Act.
Pre-Chinese New Year Update
February 11, 2007
It has been some time since I last wrote anything, for a variety of reasons. Primarily, Chinese New Year is coming up very soon, and our training at PKFS has largely turned to practicing lion dance routines. While we’ve had several lion dances already for various Chinese New Years parties, our time has largely been spent training overtime–trying to squeeze in as many puzzles and such as possible before the real party begins. As such, I doubt I’ll have much time–if at all–to update during the height of the lion dance season, as we like to call it. I’m forcing myself to write this as it is.
I realize I ended the previous entry on a sour note, and I’d very much rather not carry such things over to the new year. In fact, things have largely normalized, besides my strained relationship with Pug and Poodle, if it can be described as a relationship at all. That, by and large, has made this year’s lion dances a little awkward. I think we’ll survive though. Pug might get upset at my involvement in certain affairs that she might thing were her province, but I firmly believe that getting upset is her problem. I’m not trying to be spiteful, or some sort of donkey, but I’m not about to expend extra energy working around her mostly-justified but still annoyingly unproductive discomfort around me. What needs to be done needs to be done, and if I can’t enlist her assistance, that just means I’ll have to work a little more and a little harder. Fortunately, there’ll always be people willing to help, if not for me, then for Sifu and the school.
In other news, Sifu decided to split Hung and Ching up this year, for some reason. He’s paired Hung with Pug, and Ching with myself. Not a particularly big deal, except that the pseudonyms I’ve created for them can no longer be a source of nearly as much amusement. Ah well.
Much has happened during my period of absence that I’m bursting at the seams with thoughts and comments. Without much time to complete this entry though, I’m just going to breeze though them. I believe the largest thing in this period is the “bomb” scare in Boston over a marketing stunt by Cartoon Network. The idiots there thought some flashing LED boards in the image of cartoon characters were bombs, and treated them as such. The worst part is, even after they were called out as idiots for thinking these obviously unsophisticated pieces of electronics could somehow turn Boston into a raging inferno, the top politicians and officials continue to insist they were right, to the point of calling it a “hoax” and arresting and charging the two guys working for the marketing firm who actually put up the light displays. I don’t think the word means what those idiots think it means, as many others have noted before me. Anyway, what really occurred is that the idiots got called out on being idiots for the overreaction, which made them mad. In turn, they’ve shifted the blame to Cartoon Network, the marketing firm, and the two poor saps who built the light displays and went around town putting them up. By doing so, they’re denying that the unwarranted overreaction was at all their fault, and that somehow, based on the fact that there’s an epidemic of terrorist attacks in the US, it’s perfectly justified to call in the big guns for some flashing lights powered by a small battery. Sounds familiar, right? Might as well just call them WMD’s and use them to justify the war in Iraq. The most absurd part is that the CEO of Cartoon Network’s resigned because of this mess. I think those idiots in Boston should resign next, but that might be too much to hope for.
In other “news” (because it’s actually old), Vista was released into the wild. Apparently, it’s built-in antivirus program sucks. Not surprised at all. Supreme Commander is going to ship soon, and I’m really psyched about Spore, which should come out around the time I finish SupCom’s single player. Final Fantasy XII has been my recent source of electronic entertainment, but I near completing that, and I’ll soon be in need of a game. I think that’s all I can think of for now. There’s stuff that deals with Steve Jobs on DRM that I think is utter BS, and rumors that EMI is about to release some of its music in MP3, and I can go on and on for a while about the whole thing, but all I’m going to say is that iTunes probably isn’t going to sell MP3’s regardless.
I also had something to say about security and privacy, but I’m going to leave that can of worms for another day. Obviously, being an anonymous blog, this is a big deal. So I’ll return to the subject another time, preferably when I can present my arguements in a coherent manner.
On a more personal note, my family keeps changing the New Years dinner date… Indecision is the hallmark of one side of my family, and it has the potential to really interfere with my lion dance schedule. Family comes first, of course, so whatever day they pick, I’m still going to go. However, I wish they wouldn’t come to a decision only at the very last minute, utterly nullifying my existing plans and reducing my credibility with the others at PKFS.
It is also getting particularly close to that day of the year. I don’t have plans to spend it with anyone, even though there actually is one person… It would make me very happy if I could spend that evening with her, if only for a dinner, but I’m almost certain she’s beyond my reach now. One can still dream though, and dream I most certainly do…
The Nature of Impartiality
January 24, 2007
It has recently come to my attention that a blogger was paid to edit some Wikipedia entries to more accurately reflect reality. I’m not going to say who was paid, or who did the paying, but every since the news hit Slashdot, obviously this whole thing has riled some feathers within the geek community. In particular, this entry at boingboing.net speaks volumes about what the fuss is all about. Essentially, Jimmy Wales, the guy who’s credited with the creation of the wiki concept, says making this kind of edit is unethical, and has had previously resulted in banning of other such infringers.
I must say that I am rather distressed by this response. But for those who don’t understand how Wikipedia works, Wikipedia is essentially an encyclopedia written and edited by its readers. The interesting thing is that for all intents and purposes, anyone can edit anything, no strings attached. The problems that arise from such a system are obvious, but most of these have been mitigated with a well thought-out system of checks and balances. Pages that are prone to vandalism are locked. Pages that are controversial are typically locked, with a talk page available for the community to reach a concensus before making changes. There are thousands of moderators from around the globe, most of whom are knowledgeable in one or more fields, constantly monitoring edits, constantly reversing the bad ones, banning users, fighting over small details, etc. The system is far from perfect. But it works, most of the time.
The key to Wikipedia is trust. We, as readers, trust in the knowledge and expertise of whomever wrote the particular article we’re reading. We trust that the people who’ve written it do indeed know what they’re talking about, and that they are not trying to trick us or play pranks on us by including bits of insinuating, misleading, or plain incorrect information. So when somebody is being paid to make edits to particular entries, red flags go up. After all, the involvement of money unconditionally implies bias for the payer. Well, not exactly. This is certainly the case often enough. But there are many who would not sacrifice their integrity for a few extra dollars. The problem is, we–the community of Wikipedia users at large–don’t know who they are.
Let me talk about bias first though. Everyone who makes an edit (that’s not sheer vandalism) in a Wikipedia entry is, in some way, interested in the topical contents of that entry. It doesn’t matter whence the interest originates. It doesn’t matter the intent of the person making the edit. That some particular person bothers to put time and energy into changing a part of the entry in a meaningful way has to indicate partiality to that topic. Otherwise, if a person was impartial to the contents, that person wouldn’t even be looking at the page, much less editing it. Thus any form of interest naturally contains bias. Interest is bias. And as human beings, we cannot necessarily see our bias, or the other perspectives. Nor should we be expected to do so. It is a reasonable expectation to not delete other perspectives, but it is unreasonable to expect anyone to represent all sides. We can only hope that there are enough editors to represent all perspectives.
The complaint Mr. Wales and other Wikipedia adminstrators charge those who are being paid to edit Wikipedia entries is essentially that the monetary exchange of goods for services causes a conflict of interest. The intent of these rules is to discourage those with artificial biases from making edits. To put it in easier terms to understand, conflict of interest is mainly targetted at PR or marketing shills to discourage them from making something seem like it is not or more than it really is. But what Mr. Wales is saying is more. He implies that they are trying to find and remove the people who make edits for unethical reasons, rather than necessarily the people who make unethical edits. The difference is that not all those who edit for seemingly unethical reasons will make unethical edits. PR spin is just that–spin. While it will take time and effort to determine what is spin and what is not, the truth, rather than the spin, will eventually prevail.
I think it foolish that Mr. Wales should be so critical of this blogger and other people that might be being paid to edit Wikipedia articles. This blogger, in particular, should be commended. If he had not spoken out and admitted to having received money, no one would’ve known, and his edits would not have amounted to anything particularly special. In fact, I say that his admission actually makes him more ethical than most people. Without this kind of full disclosure, no one would know an editor’s biases, and readers would take for granted an entry as factual when its editors might have omitted facts and opinions unsupportive of that editor’s perspective. Full disclosure should be encouraged, not only for those receiving monetary compensation for making edits, but for everyone making changes (granted, some things are trivial–like hobbies–and thus full disclosure would be unnecessary, but some things only seem trivial–like having done a Ph.D. dissertation related to the particular point in question). This kind of openness should not be shunned, it should be applauded. It should be exemplified as the ethical thing to do, for both the company and the blogger.
And at the very least, give the company credit for not having some PR person to do the edit from a home connection.
Links:
Blogger’s Blog
Slashdot
BoingBoing
First Post!
January 20, 2007
At long last, after watching and waiting for the past several years, I’ve finally decided to join the ranks of the blogging community. This first entry is intended to serve as an introduction to–obviously–me. I am Yiu Qua Bauk. This pseudonym should, in and of itself, contribute to the credibility of my knowledge of Chinese martial arts. 腰跨膊 is the very basic principle upon which all Chinese martial arts are built. From one perspective, this is an appropriate moniker because all kung fu eventually returns to this principle. At the highest levels, this is all that matters; everything else is merely icing, delicious be that it may, but insubstantial. From another perspective, my choice in assuming this pseudonym means one cannot determine the style I follow, since all true Chinese martial art styles contain this concept. Or, perhaps I am of no style.
As to what my name is in real life, that shall remain safely and firmly tucked away within my cranium. This is an anonymous blog. Exactly why anonymity is so important and what this artificial imposition entails will be explained in a subsequent entry, but suffice to say, I have every intention of remaining anonymous. It should be rather obvious that I know what I’m doing with this computer. I’ve been using the internet since the days of the 2400 baud modem and making long-distance calls to certain universities, and I’ve been working with computers from both hardware and software perspectives since about that time. Needless to say, I am unquestionably a computer geek.
And when I am annoyed, I will apply several layers of thick, chunky whoop-ass–and in less time than it would take for Linus to write hello-world in bash.